Survival Guide

So, my family is coming to New York to visit me and I've been looking up stuff do, when I ran across this. Its from an old article, but I thought it was pretty funny.

Amy Poehler’s 8 Simple Rules
For being a civilized New Yorker.

1. Be nice to everyone, especially people wearing hospital bracelets. 
2. Don’t ask white girls if they “left their ass at home.” 
3. If you have to bring your baby to a movie, make sure he laughs at appropriate times. 
4. Don’t eat Cheetos and then sit down at a fancy hotel piano. 
5. If you are in Central Park and think you are getting mugged, first check to see if maybe you’re just part of a student film. 
6. If you see Oprah at a fancy function, don’t grab her wrist and ask for money. Quietly sneak up behind her and whisper, “You give me that money, Oprah. You hear me?” 
7. When walking on a New York street, try not to spit, litter, bleed, or take a crap. 
8. If you need to do any of these things, try to do it between two parked cars.

Musical notes do not have meanings like words do.

Harper's ran a 6 page article on John Zorn.

In a witch hunt, the witches have feelings, too.

HERE is a scathing, well written critique about New York Magazine and its accused money culture. More specifically their headline article this week about how mad bankers are that they're not making as much money and therefore we should have sympathy for them. I read New York Magazine (get it for free) but I didn't read this particular article, precisely because I'm burned out on bank and money talk and could care less about these people or their culture. (There is an excellent article about Dolly Parton though.) The critique, written by former staff member Chris Lehmann, brings up alot of good points about said people/culture as well as dishing some dirt on his former employer, bold move.

Like watching the 700 club and the Weather Channel at the same time

The Colbert Report is one of my favorite tv shows. I regularly watch it on Hulu since I don't have cable. They aired this spoof last week that I think is hilarious and spot on. Its making fun of a real tv ad  that used paid actors and ultra cheesy nonsensical dialogue to pose an opposition to gay marriage. Colbert's take on it brilliantly shows off their talent for satire.

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
The Colbert Coalition's Anti-Gay Marriage Ad
colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor NASA Name Contest

Central Park

The bursts of color popping up over the grey city is infectious.




A homeless woman was telling me to watch out for her raccoon. Then she said to the raccoon, "stay there sweetie, I'm going to go get you a chocolate bar, actually stay right there, I'm going to get you a sandwich. don't go anywhere....."




I think this goose was sick. poor goose. he seemed sad.

Then & Now

New York Magazine has an interesting article this week about what the island of Manhattan used to look like back when it was still, you know, natural. They have 2 great pictures juxtaposed each other, one how the city looks today and the other a computer simulation of what it used to look like when the Lenape "the real people" used to live here. I keep staring at the two photos side by side trying to grasp this concept. I wish I could go back in time and see the island as it originally was. According to the article

"there were more ecological communities per acre than Yellowstone, more native plant species per acre than Yosemite"

Pretty amazing to think about. and look at it now. kinda sad, but inevitable I guess. I wonder what it is about this little stretch of land that has drawn man to it since it was shaped by glaciers 14,000 yrs ago? The whole raison d'etre for the short article was to promote an upcoming exhibition at the Museum of the City of New York opening in May about this very topic. I am surely going to check it out.

Gloomy Tuesday

wet, cold, spring day here in new york. but I managed to have some fun on my lunch break today.

relief

I went for a much needed massage today. My neck and shoulders have been uncomfortably tight and stiff. My massage therapist, who I've been going to for about 3yrs now, took good care of me. I completely trust her and she knows what she's doing. There is a world of difference between getting a massage from any generic place and getting a massage with a licensed therapist. I've experienced both and they can't even be considered the same really. During a generic massage they randomly knead your flesh like ground meat and just squeeze and rub. Its painful and totally ineffective. A licensed therapist on the other hand, uses multiple techniques, pressure points, is focused, and productive. I had two hard knots in my back by my shoulder blades (due to my poor posture at the computer which I constantly sit in front of) she applied strong pressure on certain points of my back and shoulders along with general swedish massage strokes. I left feeling lighter and looser. Sometimes I get massage for depression, which is a whole different set of points and techniques, and when I leave I feel like I'm high. I have to keep reminding myself I'm completely sober! I find massage and acupressure (and acupuncture) to be amazing things and highly recommend to anyone, even if its just for a general tune-up.

i heart Guy Bourdin

I absolutely lurve the photography of Guy Bourdin. Famous for his fashion photos from the 60's thru the 80's, his sense of composition is impeccable. He has a very graphic sensibility and uses color and light to its full, heightened effect. I think its accurate to say his work is surrealist (in fact he was a protege of Man Ray) with underlying sadistic sexual desires. Looking at his fashion photography I always thought he over exaggerated the objectification of women to make a point against the fashion industry, taking it to such extremes as to point out the absurdity of it all. But the more I read, the more it seems this was personal, coming directly from his life and own misogyny than some statement about the fashion industry. But he was very private and guarded about himself so much of his reputation is shrouded in mystery and based on speculation. Credit is owed to French Vogue for giving him absolute freedom, and daring to run these pictures in a mainstream magazine. "In his introduction to ''Exhibit A,'' Luc Sante writes, 'For Bourdin, beauty never appeared without its accomplices death, filth and laughter.'" But apart from his personal issues, it is the sheer beauty and genius of these photos that take my breath away. I can stare at one photo just soaking it in and marveling at the composition, color, light, and mischievous deviance of it all.

Jumping off the margins of the map

I recently watched the movie Encounters at the End of the World, by great German film director Werner Herzog. I think this is so far my favorite film by him. The cinematography is spectacular and the subject matter is engrossing, and of course you get the unusual characters and engaging voiceover by Herzog. He got the idea to go down to Antarctica after seeing film footage shot by Henry Kaiser (who is also a guitarist and just put out a new experimental noise cd with Weasel Walter of all people!) Herzog was stunned by the footage he saw, rightly so, and applied for a grant to go down and shoot film himself and the result is Encounters. The DVD is also rich with extra features including really interesting behind-the-scenes commentary by Herzog and Kaiser. Herzog became more known to American audiences recently with Grizzly Man, the film made of found footage from Timothy Treadwell's bizarre life (and death) with Alaskan brown bears accompanied by Herzog's occasional voice over narration. Up until then Herzog was mainly an underground art house darling little seen outside of Germany and mostly shot films with the notorious actor Klaus Kinski, who Werner immortalizes in the film My Best Fiend. But Herzog's most mainstream release to date was Rescue Dawn w/Christian Bale and his famous emaciated performance (which is excellent btw). Its actually a film based on another of Werner's films, Little Dieter Needs to Fly. Given its major star and visual effects, this is the most "hollywood" movie Herzog has made. I've just now read though, that he's re-making Abel Ferrara's Bad Lieutenant with Nicholas Cage to be filmed in New Orleans. What?! Does anyone know if this is true? Anyway, for the time being, if you haven't seen Encounters, its worth watching!

I have no words

none.